Again... really?

This sh*t is unreal! So the owner of the villa took one look at the required tax forms and politely told me to beat it. So that's no longer an option. And I decided that living with the boss would be a misery that I don't want to sign up for. I refuse to settle. I came here for a great career opportunity and a beach lifestyle, and damn if I ain't gonna get it! Something has to give.

Now what? Now I call HR, my boss, Cartwrong and anybody else I can get on the line and b*tch out!! I've been calm and patient enough. Time for me to act a damn fool bc I've been in this raggedy asss hotel long enough. Somebody's gonna feel my pain. These folks have homes and their personal belongings. I don't. This is unacceptable. Folks better figure it out!

So now all 3teams - HR global mobility, the relocation agency (Cartwrong) and the local relocation specialist (Carrie's managers) schedule calls to discuss my special situation. I can respect the need for the tax forms bc apparently my housing is a business expense that they need to account for and all. But my need to have a damn home supersedes all that BS. Sorry! They need to work out an alternative ASAP. If not, perhaps it's not destined for me to be here and it's time to give them an ultimatum; a deadline to find me a place. I'm considering that idea, but do I stand to gain anything if I abort this mission so early on? Hmmmm... Not really. I gave up my apt. Left my family, friends, loved ones and the world that I knew. I moved my belongings into storage and set myself up back in my old room at my moms house. I done compromised and gave up too damn much. This has to work! The end must justify the means. With that said, I keep the faith and wait for the huge drama called my current housing dilemma to pan out.

In the meantime, I'll be looking forward to visiting my family and friends in NYC on 5/15. I swear the day can't come fast enough. I booked my flight on Monday and notified my boss that I will be "off island" for a few days. Forget asking. After all the s**t I've been thru with this move, they better understand. 12 days at home is exactly what I need to re-up my energy and soak up the love from my family & friends. The mere thought of going home gives me comfort and a sense of peace that I can't begin to explain. They say there's no place like home. At this very moment I wholeheartedly believe that to be true. But lucky me, before I can get home, a piece of home is coming to me. My Ace Suze is coming with her boyfriend to vacation here on Saturday. But the even more exciting new is that my mom is coming to visit me on Sunday. Now, trust me when I tell you I love my mama but she had a genuine talent for getting on my damn nerves. However, that was then when she lived 15mins away and this is now when there's an ocean separating us. I miss my mama. Last night she finally cracked open her iPad and lil bro set us up on FaceTime. Omg, I felt so much joy at the sight of her face. It was incredible. I didn't realize I had missed her this much. It was a beautiful thing and made me miss home even more. And right now, I can not WAIT to pick her up from that airport and hug & kiss that woman. It's crazy how much I miss her. I'll have her here for a week. I swear, Sunday can not come fast enough.

But guess what? Tonight is Friday and when I wake in the morning I'll be preparing for something I've never experienced before - Carnival!! Yes y'all, I'm "jumping" in Cayman Carnival. Outside of wearing that crazy costume and walking a mile or 2, I have no mofo clue what that really means. lol. But I signed up and got my costume so I'm doing it... Haaaaa. YOLO!!
(Please pray I don't pass out y'all,lol) 😃

Beach or Boondocks?

For the past 6+ weeks I've been struggling to find housing on this island. I mean, the drama saga has been unreal! During the 1st week here my relocation specialist, Carrie, and I make it a priority to see homes so I could move and settle in ASAP. I see a unit in the 1st floor of a bldg in which my new boss has decided to lease an apt on the 3rd floor. (He arrived on the island 3weeks before me.) Decent place. 2bed/2bath. Patio across from the pool. Furnishings are tolerable. Pretty good location. Steps away from the beach. Restaurant and bar onsite. 5min drive to work. Cool spot but, NO! Having him know my comings and goings, when I had guests and seeing him at the pool just didn't sit well with me. The mere idea of living in such close proximity to my boss made me nauseous. Nexxxxxxt!!!! A few days later I see a fly a** 2bed/2.5 bath duplex that I feel in love with at 1st sight. 😍It was perfect! Gorgeous new property. Modern decor. Balcony overlooking the pool. Across the street from the beach. Onsite gym. Great restaurants and hotel bars galore just steps away from my door. Supermarket around the corner. 5 min drive from work. And in the exact opposite direction from my boss' place. The location was absolutely perfect!! I jumped on it immediately to get the ball rolling on the lease. Then came the drama of the $500CI ($625USD) deposit needed to take the unit off the market during the lease processing. The 3rd party outsourcing agency assisting my company's HR team with my relocation, aka "Cartwrong", should actually take care of making the deposit. But of course the property manager required the funds by end of business that day bc someone else was interested in the unit as well. It was already 2pm in Cayman. Here comes problem #1 - Cartwrong needs several days to obtain approval to release funds, so that won't work. And conveniently enough, of course, I had lost my debit card a few days before so I couldn't just go to the ATM and make the withdrawal. Great. So I hit up my big sis, Gina, in NYC and get her on standby to send me the funds by Western Union if necessary. She ready, willing and able. Lovely. Until I realize, there's no possible way I'd really be able to skip out of work bc things were super busy. But even if I could, the closest pick up location is too far away for me to make it seeing as I didn't have a car as yet. Plus, there's no way I'd make it there and back to the leasing office's bank in time to make the deposit with traffic. I'm thinking, "Yikes. There's no way I can pull this off." Then, low and behold Carrie to the rescue. She agrees to withdraw the funds from her personal HSBC bank account and make the deposit on my behalf to Butterfield Bank. Niceeeeee!! Relieved and now thinking, "Yes, yes, yes! I'm gonna get my dream apt near the beach", I begin mentally preparing for my new life living in this fabulous apt. 😁 So I log on to my bank app and transfer cash from mine to my mom's account so she can make the deposit into an HSBC branch in NYC to repay Carrie the following day. (Now why did I think this would be so simple?) So mom goes to make the deposit. Not so fast! 😳She doesn't have an HSBC account so that's a no go bc apparently you can't just make a deposit into someone's Cayman bank account from the US despite both banks being HSBC. Mom immediately starts pitching a biatch up in the bank for the inconvenience. I'm sorry to have had her go out her way for nothing bc she has enough on her plate but I have to stay focused on repaying this woman right away bc the next day is Good Friday and the following Monday is a holiday on the island - Easter Monday which will mean delays in the wire transfer and I don't like owing anyone. 😤So I end my call with mom and I call my dad at work bc I know he has an account there. He agrees to help me out and immediately drives 4towns over in NJ to find a branch and make the deposit. 😀 Go daddy!! Unfortunately, the wire transfer costs $35 and took 3 days to post. Bummer. But it's done and Carrie has been repaid. Now to await my move in date of May 1st and submit my reimbursement request. All is well... Eeeerrrrrrkkk!!! *tire skid marks*. 😳Not so fast... After 3 weeks of negotiations between the relocation agency assisting HR, aka "Cartwrong", on behalf of my relocation and the property manager, the lease fell through. So that was time wasted banking on this unit while foregoing other places that were acceptable and dare we not forget about the drama of depositing the funds. Oh, and hold on. Now that I think about it, these fools still haven't reimbursed me for my $625. Needless to say, Cartwrong got an earful that day and a few emails complaining to my company's HR. Nevertheless, this meant I still didn't have a home to move into and it was just one week left in the month of April so the chances of finding a place by May 1st and having my goods delivered from customs storage was a pipe dream. I was crushed!! Devastated. And Pissed off!! WTF?!?!😭😠😡😭😢😠😭😡😤😞

Ok, so basically here's the issue - since the lease must be in the name of the company (since they are covering the rent each month), my company requires this dumb azz tax form that NOOOOOOOO landlord on this island is willing to provide. The form basically forces the landlord to report the rental income to the US gov't. Now really, we're in the #1 place where ppl come to hide $$. Why the hell did they think that anyone would want to report (and be forced to the pay US taxes) on income if they don't have to? I would love to know what asswipe thought this would be a non-problematic requirement in this tax haven. Smdh.

So, here I am approaching my 7th week at this hotel. 😕 It seems like I'm never going to settle in and adjust to Cayman life as long as I'm stuck at this ratchet hotel living out of my 3 suitcases. For Pete's sake, I need the rest of my clothes and shoes and hair products and accessories and handbags and exercise gear and... Stuff!! All of which is sitting in customs storage until I find a home to have it delivered to me. Smh. I'll tell you right now there ain't nothing sweet about this damn suite. I'm ready to bust loose!!

So after this revelation, my company and Cartwrong consider the idea of allowing for the lease to be placed in my name and reimbursing me each month. Not ideal bc this means I'd need to have $2500CI ($3125USD) along with the $40USD wire fee sitting in my bank acct each month, but perhaps this could work. Hey, I'm willing to sacrifice for the cause. That apt was fly. So Carrie requests an extension from the property manager to keep my dream apt on hold for one more day and I sit tight in hopes that the final discussions from HR and Cartwrong confirm that this is an acceptable option. 😐 But just a few days earlier the terrorist attack in Boston had taken place. Tragic and sad. Truly an awful act. Prayers and condolences to the families and victims. Those evil monsters! Unfortunately, my company's HR dept is located in Boston and this happens to be the Friday when the city is in a state of high alert and lockdown so the meeting to discuss my case is delayed. The day nearly comes to a close when someone in HR responds to my email and advises that the tax form must be provided by the property manager and the unit cannot be leased in my name. Terrible news on a Friday. Again, I was crushed.

The following Monday, Cartwrong advises that I'll have to view more units and begin my home search all over again once they identify landlords willing to provide the form. A few days later Carrie contacts a friend and arranges for me to view a villa owned by a couple in the UK who he's sure will have no issues with the W8/9 tax forms. Quaint and tranquil place. New construction and the unit is nearly finished. I'd be the 1st tenant which is a glorious thing. New furniture. New pool and gazebo coming in 2mos. Waterfront a few steps away. Just 4 mins from work. There's just one problem. This place is in the freaking boondocks! Last house on the left, remote location, removed from all of the live action (or as live as Cayman gets) and right off a highway intersection. Nice place and all but the location is NOT at all what I had in mind for my beach lifestyle when I agreed to move here.
I just can't win!

But considering the fact that I basically have no better options or prospects in sight, I ask that Carrie and her friend move forward to coordinate the lease with the owner and my employer while I secretly hope something better comes along. As fate would have it, the unit in my boss' bldg is also still available and the landlord is willing to provide the tax form. Wow, my luck has turned around hasn't it? I guess it's true that even a garbage can gets a steak once in a while. lol.

So now I have to decide between living in an apt in the same bldg as my boss in the perfect location along the beach or a brand new villa in a remote area 5mins away from the beach and restaurants but in a tranquil community. Hmmm. What would you do? Take the villa, become neighbors with the boss OR try your luck at finding another spot despite complicated tax reasons??

The Dawning...

What in the HELL am I doing hereeee??? Finally... Here starts my "recollection" of a 32 year old woman moving through life. Presently, I find myself living in Grand Cayman. How did I end up here? Well, let me backtrack for just a moment (or several) and explain, just a bit how I ended up spending the last 6wks at Comfort Suites with very little comfort. lol. 

It's incredibly funny what you'll do under the circumstances of annoyance, misery, frustration and dissatisfaction...

So every year my mom & I go on a vacation together. In 2011 she asked me where we should go and I suggested the Cayman Islands. Several years earlier a friend & I stopped there on a cruise and I thought the beach was amazing. Fine. So that October we go visit. While driving along in Grand Cayman I noticed all of the financial firms (I'd been working in fund administration since 2004) and casually said to myself, "Hmm, I could work here for a few years to save money". A local had mentioned that salaries were higher than in the US bc of the higher cost of living on the island so I thought it could make financial sense and be a relaxing change of pace. All of this was just a passing thought that quickly fled my mind. 

Fast forward to the Spring of 2012 as I find myself beyond frustrated and turned off by my current position of being overworked, underpaid and supremely aggravated with two besties as my superior and subordinate. Talk about a conflict of interest. Smh. I've never seen an AVP doing almost all of a supervisor's work (or sometimes passing it along to other members of the team including myself) so she could go home on time. It was unreal. Now individually both of these ladies were cool and in some unexplainable I liked them both.  Don't get me wrong, I can respect anyone with a family and responsibilities but when it means I'm expected to pick up the slack, we have a damn problem Houston!! I seriously started to believe that maybe they were lovers bc I'd never seen anything like that before. It was to the point that I was expected to carry a heavier workload to facilitate my subordinate's special schedule. It was crazy! Whoa, I am getting pissed all over again thinking about it. But I digress... So when there was mention of my firm's acquisition of a business with offices located in Toronto and Grand Cayman, I immediately threw my name in the hat for Grand Cayman. I figured it couldn't hurt. (Now that I think of it, Toronto probably would have been a better deal but I'll revisit the reason I didn't consider Toronto an option at a later point in time). But by no means did I think it was an actual possibility - me going. Well, not one that I could realistically pull off. I sort of hoped to find a more fulfilling position in NYC to remove myself from the misery of the rat race of bills & my rental apartment (inclusive of my neighborhood & neighbors who had both become a real pain in my a**). Not to mention the BS of my job situation. But that 'better option' never came along. At least, not before I had to decide on whether or not to move out of the country. Instead, over the course of the summer I found myself sitting in periodic discussions with my manager and the managing director of my department, also the lead on this transition, regarding the possibilities of me taking on this assignment. Honestly, I wanted to do it nearly as much as I didn't want to do it. If that makes any sense. But deep down

I knew a decision would need to be made sooner than later regardless of how much I didn't want to really think about it. So as it turned out, I had to spend the eve of my 32nd birthday on the phone with my dad (mom never called me back to discuss the matter but I'll come back to that) & close friends trying to make one of the hardest decisions of my entire life. Some way to bring in a damn birthday, let alone my much needed week off. But after all of the stalling and non commitment I had given over the past few months no one cared that my birthday was approaching when I was told a decision was needed by noon the next day. Ughhh. Stressful and depressing! The ironic thing is that back when I was maybe 27 years old I always said, "When I'm 32 my life will be fulfilling and interesting." (I really have to stop saying things like this in my head.) 

So after sitting in bed for a few hours, I said F*** it and settled on the idea that I would tell my boss it was a go and send my email in confirming my decision.

So here I am - trying to navigate thru my new life here on this foreign land and "connect with myself". Whatever the hell that really means...